fictionsmith

Lately I’ve been finding myself in a state of minor panic.
For whatever reason it’s hitting me how valuable time is.
It’s a resource one can’t recoup,
and when I look back at all the time wasted,
spending my time hunched over my phone,
launching digital birds at pigs*, I begin to worry.

I look at myself and ask:
“Am I a better person than I was yesterday?  Last week? Last year?”

So I decided I would finally do something about it.

• I’ve begun to personally define good usage of time.
• I’ve deleted iPhone apps that keep me from the surrounding world.
• I’m relearning Spanish and French.
• I stop watching movies/shorts that don’t inspire me.
• I’ve put health at a higher priority.

It may sound idealistic, and I don’t list these things
as a way to announce some sort of self-superiority
or even a “look at me” mindset.

I’m just realizing the finite quality of time,
understanding how important other people are,
and how we won’t have them around forever. 

It’s just when one has a personal epiphany, one feels inclined to share… especially when one’s quality of life drastically increases because of said epiphany. 

After starting to live life like this,
I feel much more at peace,
knowing that I did what I could
with my God-given time,

Almost to the point
where if I were to die today
I could look back and say,
“At least I went down going full bore.”

I’m also realizing how this has been on my mind pre-epiphany when I look back to the short film we made in 2010.

12:01 from Ryan Dunlap on Vimeo.

The last important bit is that I realized there was so much that could be done… possibilities felt near endless, which made me worry over whether my new found zeal to better myself wasn’t just being misplaced in the wrong areas… so I needed to make sure I was on the right path, and staying in tune with God is the key to the peace and equilibrium. 

Life in this new mindset has been wonderful,
I find myself more loving, more patient,
better equipped to handle events,
and over twenty pounds lighter.
(which is nice for self-esteem)

 vcD,
-R 

*I believe entertainment has its place, or else I wouldn’t be in my chosen industry… but when my goals include spending countless hours to get “3 Stars,” I know I’ve managed my personal time poorly.