Railings
I’m pretty sure my train hopped off its tracks and is off somewhere in the forest, breaking branches and smacking its sole inhabitant with the aftermath.
I remember making an excel spreadsheet that tracked every month and how I would pay off each loan in certain calculated amounts of time based on a steady percentage raise to be earned year by year…
That kind of security left on August 13th.
No, wait. That kind of security left back in February of 2008, when I decided it would be fun to try to write a feature length film. I’m pretty sure at that point my roller coaster of a train had halfway left its tracks.
I had the option to find new track (which if my analogy is correct-which it being my analogy, gets to be whatever I want it to be-track is nothing more than a horizontal ladder), but as my father once advised me, I shouldn’t climb someone else’s ladder, but instead should be constructing my own.
My building materials are the aforementioned broken limbs smacking me in the face, so at least I know what I’m working with here… Speaking of derailment, I’m just blathering for the sake of trying to continue an analogy I’m not quite sure is working anymore.
.:Deathbeds
I hear that most people regret what they didn’t do more than regretting what they did whilst on their deathbed. I’m not sure who asks such questions for compilation at such occasions, but let’s both pretend this is correct, shall we?
That spreadsheet that had years of my future planned out was wrong. Factually, of course, due to the change of course… and also due to the fact that there is something stifling in the idea of hitting autopilot in my early 20s. What was I planning to do? Keep the status quo for 40 years, retire, and then die? No thank you.
I was able to see Up In the Air in St. Louis (where it was filmed) before it’s wide Christmas release. There was one segment that I’ll just have to paraphrase, but Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is laying off J.K. Simmons’ character. This rocks Simmons’ world, and he asks what he will tell his children. Clooney brings up his resume that included college courses in french cuisine and asks how much the corporation paid him for him to sell out on his passion… and that he was now free to pursue what he loved… for the betterment of himself and thus his children.
I wish I had heard that back in August, but better later than never I suppose. So for now, I’ll keep full steam ahead through unfamiliar territory, never having to wonder what would have happened if I had one day decided to try to pursue my passion and make a film. It’s terrifying at times, but it’s worth it. To steal from C.S. Lewis and twist/pull things from context… Of course it’s not safe… but it’s good.
-R
