fictionsmith

Today I am quite curious as to what benefit I have in comparing my art to someone else’s art.  I’m finding the pitfalls to outweigh the benefits.

For every time I could see someone else’s movie and say, “Wow, I really admire this work and would love to develop my craft up to that level,” I could look at another work and say, “Sheesh, they don’t know what they’re doing.  Look at how poorly executed their __________ is.”

Now, I could understand feeling frustrated at a fellow artist that touts their genius yet doesn’t notice that they’ve put in far less work into their craft (and it shows), but who am I to look at my past self and scold myself for not being further along than I am currently?  If ever I am to be an established film director, what benefit would I have in going back to tell my present day self that my gear/lighting/acting/etc was inadequate?

In the same way, why should I look down on someone who hasn’t gotten to my level of equipment and experience yet?

In the same way, why should I despair that I haven’t amassed the resources or experience to match someone else with a different set of circumstances?

Right now I’m interested in making the best art I can make and just leave it at that.  I’ll use all the tools I have available to me and continue to train myself when I can, but I shouldn’t give up because there’s someone better, and I should scoff because there are people who are just starting out.

.:Credibility
At lunch today I was talking with a friend that was talking about how critical people would be of Greyscale.  They’re going to take it with a certain level of seriousness.  It isn’t a movie made by a bunch of kids running around with dad’s camcorder.  It isn’t a multi-million dollar hollywood movie.  We’re being taken seriously locally, and that’s a start.

But, we have known actors.  We aren’t those kids with dad’s camcorder.  We’re placing ourselves in the light of public scrutiny.  This will either crush us or cause us to become better at our craft.  I’m betting on the latter… I have to.

.:Rejection
Leave Me was rejected from it’s first major film festival, the New York City Shorts Festival… which only accepts 25-30 films per year out of a pool of 750+ submissions (or there were at least that many last year).  It won the original competition it was created for, but these are two different pools of talent and experience.

This begs the question of me… does it bother me that this short film wasn’t accepted?  If I were being honest, I’d say that any bit of creativity that comes from me and other that isn’t seen as ‘good enough’ does sting.  I think that’s going to be a natural reaction… but I can’t let my art be solely for the approval of others.  That’s not why I do this, and it wouldn’t be a healthy outlet if it was…

…I did the whole competition circuit thing before… I’m not looking to prove myself to others anymore.

I think that’s enough public wrestling for now… Thanks for bearing with me.

-R